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Break a Promise, Make a Vow 
7th-Oct-2007 01:32 pm
whisper kiss
Title: Break a Promise, Make a Vow
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to I Do
Notes: Stand-alone, written for Challenge #57: Seven Deadly Sins at [info]lostfichallenge. The sin featured is wrath. A very different way I Do could have gone. This is actually a story I've wanted to write for some time, but it took this particular challenge to motivate me to get it out of my head and onto the computer screen. Also for [info]un_love_you #27: Author's Choice: You'll pay for this.



categories: AU Fic, Fic That Made Me Cry the Hardest

You can also read this fic with the DVD commentary turned on.



They've left her virtually alone, for what must have been hours. The rain had stopped long ago, and when the sun first came out there had been steam rising from the saturated ground. Now the air is still again, and her clothes have dried stiffly on her body.

She feels none of it – not the heat, not the rough fabric, not the bars of the cage pressing into her back.

He'd told her to turn around, to close her eyes, not to watch, but she'd only done so after he'd fallen. She hadn't wanted to watch them carry him away – or maybe they'd dragged him. Like he was nothing. She doesn't know; she'd stopped listening, stopped hearing. Now she uses her feet against the ground to press herself harder into the metal bars, hoping to feel something.

She can still see the look of surprise on his face. She squeezes her eyes shut but it's imprinted on the insides of her lids. She wonders if he'd actually believed Pickett would spare him, that her desperate pleas and declaration of love would be enough to save his life.

Maybe Sawyer had been more of a romantic than she'd thought.

Or maybe people always looked surprised in the last moments before death. She wouldn't know. She hadn't exactly stuck around to photograph Wayne's reaction.

She shuffles her body around then, seized with the need to see again the place he'd fallen. To her shock and mild horror, he's still there. They've left him, just as he'd crumpled, legs folded under him at an odd angle. Before she can stop it, the thought occurs to her that he must be in pain.

But of course, he's not. Not anymore. The blood has dried on his temple, turning an ugly tint of brown in the dead heat, and it almost looks like he's reached up with a muddy hand to wipe his brow. Almost.

Now she feels, and at first it's that her face is wet, which she thinks is odd, given that the rain stopped long ago. She opens her mouth to speak, and her voice creaks out, as if she hasn't used it in far too long. “Sawyer.”

When he doesn't move, she frowns and repeats it, louder, stronger this time. “Sawyer! Damn it, Sawyer! Get up!” Intellectually, she knows he's not hearing her, that he'll never respond. The knowledge doesn't stop her from trying again. “God damn you, Sawyer, stand up!”

She hears footsteps then and falls silent, half expecting to see him coming around the corner. Whatcha yammerin' about, Freckles? But instead she sees Pickett approaching, and with a sick churning in her stomach, she realizes she'll never be Freckles again.

After Tom, she'd vowed to never again have a reason to kill.

Now, she stands up, ignoring the tingling in her legs that tells her she's been sitting in one position for too long. She grips the bars of the cage until her knuckles turn white and looks directly into Pickett's eyes.

“You'll pay for this. All of you. You will pay.”
Comments 
7th-Oct-2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
So stunned by this that commenting isn't working like it should. I'm broken to the very core, and that's what great storytelling is all about. I marked you the other day as an up-and-coming Skate writer of the highest rank...just goes to show how right I can be. Congratulations!
7th-Oct-2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
Wow...thank you! I'm so glad you liked it; I wasn't so sure about this one. Thanks for the flattery :)
8th-Oct-2007 12:02 am (UTC)
Got nothing to do with flattery - I just call 'em like I read 'em. ;)

BTW, think it would be possible for you to link the parts of your Walking After Midnight series together, so readers can go from one part directly to the next without having to flip back and forth from the master list of all 10 parts? (Just in case I someone wanted to nominate them in a category at [info]lost_fic_awards for something...sometime, you know.)
8th-Oct-2007 01:25 am (UTC)
:)

Hehe, thanks! I could certainly do that.
8th-Oct-2007 01:49 am (UTC)
All the chapters should be linked now :)
8th-Oct-2007 01:59 am (UTC)
Excellent! That will make things much easier for everyone. Thanks for going to the trouble!
8th-Oct-2007 02:52 am (UTC)
No trouble at all; realized I should do that with all chaptered stories, anyway. Thanks for asking me to.
7th-Oct-2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
So painful, but very nicely done as...if I cringe and grab a box of tissues first...I can definitely see the tragic alternate version of this story playing out this way. My heart was in my throat as I read, and I felt every sensation with Kate---you made it all very real so that it transcended the words and I almost have to remind myself that it actually ends where he escapes death and Kate escapes a life without him.

I enjoy your very 'in the room with me' writing very much!
7th-Oct-2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
Since I am pretty much speechless, and I share a brain with candylandgal here, anyway, I am just going to say, 'what she said.' Thank you for sharing.
7th-Oct-2007 11:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much :)
7th-Oct-2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you - that's so nice to hear. Glad you enjoyed it :)
7th-Oct-2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
Incredibly well done. You put me right back in that moment, stomach roiling, the rest of me feeling both all knotted up and at loose ends simultaneously ... and then you upped the ante.

Maybe Sawyer had been more of a romantic than she'd thought.
and
with a sick churning in her stomach, she realizes she'll never be Freckles again
sent me diving for the box of tissues. Amazing work - bravo!
7th-Oct-2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm glad it worked for you.
7th-Oct-2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
You're a bad person. Just saying.

7th-Oct-2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
But I'm really not.
7th-Oct-2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
No, you're not.
8th-Oct-2007 01:23 am (UTC)
Aww.
8th-Oct-2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
You killed me.

I'm actually crying! God, this is amazing! I loved every bit of it! God!

But you killed me. You killed Sawyer, and if Sawyer dies, I die. God, this is hearbreaking. I always cry watching "I do" with that scene, always, because I find Sawyer's sacrifice so amazingly heartbreaking. But this? This is what catharsis is supposed to be.

"She realizes she'll never be Freckles again"

God.

Just wow.

You totally kill me.

Amazing job!
8th-Oct-2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
Aww, sorry for the killing and the crying ;)

Thanks so much. I'm glad this worked.

And yeah, I love that scene in I Do. No matter how many times I see it, I'm always so torn apart over how he keeps insisting she not watch him be killed. That, to me, is his "I love you" moment, much more so even than the actual ILY he says.
8th-Oct-2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
so heartbreaking when she's telling him to get up and the line she realizes she'll never be freckles again sniff

Beautiful but oh so sad and the power at the end that she will kill them for what they have done
8th-Oct-2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
17th-Oct-2007 02:33 pm (UTC)
oh.
*is speechless*

I wasn't expecting this. At all.
Everything here hurt so much. This line in particular:
Maybe Sawyer had been more of a romantic than she'd thought.

Painful, but beautiful.
18th-Oct-2007 12:16 am (UTC)
Thank you!
20th-Oct-2007 05:27 am (UTC)
I really like your writing style! The stories are short, but the pictures you paint are so complete.

I found this part especially striking:

Or maybe people always looked surprised in the last moments before death. She wouldn't know. She hadn't exactly stuck around to photograph Wayne's reaction.
20th-Oct-2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much :)
21st-Oct-2007 05:18 pm (UTC)
Amazing! Very sad and heartbreaking, but amazing!
22nd-Oct-2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
1st-Dec-2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
You are very talented!!

I mean, to write a fic like that with so much emotion and drama, it's a gift!

I was attracted to the story from the begining to the very end and I was actually waiting for the next part lol!
What Kate will do?!?

GREAT JOB!
1st-Dec-2007 09:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!

I'm actually not planning on continuing this; I'm kind of fond of ambiguous endings, especially for Lost. But I'm glad you enjoyed it!
11th-Jan-2008 03:35 am (UTC)
OMG, that was... powerful. and so hard. but awesome.
12th-Jan-2008 01:04 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
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